Hump day blues
Its Wednesday August 16, 2006 and here is my bitch for today
I woke up feeling even weaker than I did when I went to bed last night. This is a major problem. I can't even explain it really - the closest I can get is that my arms and legs feel like they each weigh a hundred pounds. Its so hard to lift them and I have to think about each movement and really MAKE it happen.
I have the awful feeling of electricity going from my left elbow down through my two middle fingers.
When I look down I have a shock that runs right down my spine and tickles my ass... Ok.. kinda funny - but generally just annoying as hell. Makes it extremely difficult to walk down stairs because my left leg gets - either really weak when this happens - or looses some of its feeling and I can't move it well... I am NOT good at telling what is going on in my own body I just know the shit doesn't work right.
I have a lovely gray spot in my left eye.. Right in the center of my vision its filled with gray.. I can't see through it - when I get hot it gets bigger. Normally when I cool off this goes away but its hung out for a few weeks now - I pray it isn't going to be here forever but I am starting to look at that as a possibility.
along with the electricity in my left hand it tingles so that it gives the feeling of bugs crawling across your skin. Its annoying and for some reason I can't get my brain to remember its NOT bugs.. I keep slapping at it.. Thinking I will eventually kill those fucking bugs.. But there is nothing there. Its great to feel insane so early in the morning.
Depression??? Mild to moderate - its hard to not be upset when you can't do the things you want to - but at the same time I just need to find ways around this.. ways that won't harm my already damaged body.
I woke up feeling even weaker than I did when I went to bed last night. This is a major problem. I can't even explain it really - the closest I can get is that my arms and legs feel like they each weigh a hundred pounds. Its so hard to lift them and I have to think about each movement and really MAKE it happen.
I have the awful feeling of electricity going from my left elbow down through my two middle fingers.
When I look down I have a shock that runs right down my spine and tickles my ass... Ok.. kinda funny - but generally just annoying as hell. Makes it extremely difficult to walk down stairs because my left leg gets - either really weak when this happens - or looses some of its feeling and I can't move it well... I am NOT good at telling what is going on in my own body I just know the shit doesn't work right.
I have a lovely gray spot in my left eye.. Right in the center of my vision its filled with gray.. I can't see through it - when I get hot it gets bigger. Normally when I cool off this goes away but its hung out for a few weeks now - I pray it isn't going to be here forever but I am starting to look at that as a possibility.
along with the electricity in my left hand it tingles so that it gives the feeling of bugs crawling across your skin. Its annoying and for some reason I can't get my brain to remember its NOT bugs.. I keep slapping at it.. Thinking I will eventually kill those fucking bugs.. But there is nothing there. Its great to feel insane so early in the morning.
Depression??? Mild to moderate - its hard to not be upset when you can't do the things you want to - but at the same time I just need to find ways around this.. ways that won't harm my already damaged body.
posted by its.me.heather at 4:46 AM
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